"The person in question is convinced she's purchased a Van Gogh. A very pretty Van Gogh. The problem is, I know this person, and I know all the people who privately own Van Goghs, and they wouldn't sell one to her." He picks up the glass, nodding to her as he seats himself. "Thank you.

Now, the issue is that I'm not enough of a collector, nor am I educated enough to make a call against her acquisition on grounds of authenticity. I need it made, very publicly, clear that she's gotten herself a fake."